The one with the proud mum

Usually my ten year old son greets me in the playground after school with a smile - but last Thursday was a different story all together.  Looking down at his feet, he slowly made his way over to where I stood.  After offering only a very quiet 'hi', he waited beside me for my nieces to come out of their classrooms.  I suspected the worst.  There I stood, pretending to search intently for the girls, when really I mentally prepared my 'it's ok, you tried your best, that is all that counts' speech.  You see, today had been a big day for him.  Having been elected onto the school council the week before, this was the day he would stand in front of the whole school and give a speech explaining why he should be elected as Chair.  His face and manner suggested the day hadn't gone all that well.

We stood in the playground for what seemed like eternity, when I took the plunge and asked how his day had gone.  'How has your day been?'  I casually asked, trying not to visibly cringe as I waited for his disheartened response. Still looking down, he answered, 'Not so good' - and just as I was about to launch into my speech, he added - 'I only got voted in as Chair!'  The toad!!

Looking pleased with himself after the elections :)

Pride began to rise up within me, quickly doing away with all the feelings of dread that had occupied my mind only seconds ago.  My boy had done it.

As I walked back to the car listening to his account of the day, it dawned on me that I would have been just as proud of him had his response to my question been different.  You see, his attitude towards the elections had, in my opinion, been exemplary.  This is why ...

The one with the Big Lunch invite

On June 5th people everywhere ignored the cold and rainy weather and took part in The Big Lunch.

'The Big Lunch is a very simple idea from the Eden Project. The aim is to get as many people as possible across the whole of the UK to have lunch with their neighbours in a simple act of community, friendship and fun.' 

As I love the idea of communities getting together I worked hard at organising and running a Big Lunch for Wessex.  I signed up on The Big Lunch website, had the promotional merchandise sent to me, and explained to the rest of the church what it was all about.  Lots of people thought it was a good idea, and many offered to help in different ways.  I loved that so many people were coming together as part of this community initiative. 

Just over a week before the big event, a team of people from Wessex gathered together to post around 300 Big Lunch leaflets through the doors of the houses in the local community.  After all, The Big Lunch is about communities, and although the church has its own community of believers, this event was for everyone - especially those who reside in the locality of the church. 

Leaflets were also given out to members of various groups within Wessex, including Twinkling Stars Toddler Group and Youth. 

So - many people received invitations to attend this amazing event - that included a free lunch, craft, bouncy castle, music and much more.  So much to get excited about.  What an opportunity! 

Sunday 5th soon arrived and people bustled about preparing for the Big Lunch.  The bouncy castle was put in place, people arrived with plates of food, and the Welcome Team were ready to welcome the crowds of visitors we were expecting. 

We were ready!!

But ... hardly anyone came.

It is true.  Whilst a lot of our regular congregation attended, and a few of them brought friends - the footfall from all the advertising and leaflet drops amounted to ONE FAMILY.  The 300 + leaflets that were delivered and handed out must have soon found their way to the bin. 

The one family that did turn up came through an invitation to twenty or so parents / carers at Twinkling Stars Toddler Group.  No one came from the leaflet drop. 

The following week at Twinkling Stars, I thanked the lady for turning up with her family.  She said she had really enjoyed it, which was great to hear.  We chatted about the weather on the day, the food, the craft her daughter enjoyed, and then she said something that got me thinking ...

She said ...'It must have been really disheartening for you that no-one else came from Twinkling Stars?'

For a short time I was unable to answer.  I had to process what had been said, and my reaction to it.

You see, I could have followed her lead down the road to disappointment and disheartenment, and wallowed in self-pity at all the work I had put in, and the lack of response and commitment to it.

But - nothing could be further than the truth. 

Because, the simple fact of the matter was that it had been GREAT to see that one family there.  Sure, it would have been nice to see a few others at The Big Lunch, but I experienced just as much joy and encouragement to see the one, than I think I would have done to see the crowds.

As I shared this thought with the lady, I could sense that she was genuinely touched that I felt that way.  She did matter.  She did make a difference.  And her attendance at the Big Lunch had made my day.

Sadly, I think society can often make us feel invisible and insignificant.  We can feel as though we blend into a bigger and brighter background; that our individual colour doesn't really show amongst the vibrancy of colours on the palette. 

But, this isn't how Jesus views us.  He sees and celebrates our individuality.  We matter to him.  He loves us!

Then Jesus told them this parable: “Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it?  And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’  (Luke 15:3-6)

Jesus cares about the one lost sheep so much so that he leaves the other sheep to search for it.  If that individual sheep didn't matter, he wouldn't have left the others to find it.

Although this verse speaks about how we have all been 'lost' - wandering around on our own without God - it also demonstrates the importance placed on our lives as individuals.  We are each loved by God.  We are not insignificant and we do not blend into the background. 

We all need reminding of this at times. 

If you are feeling 'lost' - then know that there is a God who loves you and is looking for you right now.  

If you are feeling lonely - know that there is a God who has promised never to leave you.

And if you are feeling insignificant - know that God loved you so much that he sent his Son to die for you!

We should never just feel part of the crowd - and we should never see others that way either.  We must always remember how important people are to God, and treat them accordingly.  We should love as we are loved.

The one with the card

This morning I made my way to Basingstoke and whilst there I popped into a card shop to purchase a New Home card.   Having successfully negotiated my way round the somewhat disorganised shop, and picked out a card, I headed to the till.  The queue consisted of only one other person, and there were two assistants ready to serve.  My turn to pay came round quickly, and in less than a minute I had parted with £1.40 and walked out the shop with the card neatly placed in a bag.  Job done.  So, why did I leave the shop contemplating the rudeness of the shop assistant?  She hadn't listened.

You see, the very brief interaction I had with the shop assistant went something like this:


Shop Assistant: 'Hi' (takes the card I wish to purchase)
Shop Assistant: 'That's £1.40 then please' (puts card back on counter and hand hovers to receive cash)
Me: (rumbles around in my purse and presents £1.50) 'There you go'
Shop Assistant: 'Thanks' (takes money, puts in till) 'Would you like a bag?'
Me: 'No, it's fine thank you' (waits for change)

Shop Assistant: (takes out change, holds it in hand whilst putting card in paper bag) 'There you go then'

Me: (Takes 10p change and paper bag with card in, and walks out the shop wondering how 'No it's fine thank you' could have been translated as 'Yes, please I would love one!')

All could have been forgiven if the shop had a lot of background noise, but as it was quiet, there is no way the shop assistant hadn't heard me.  She just hadn't listened to my answer.  This rattled my cage, (can you tell?!)  but as I thought about it later over a Chai Tea Latte,  I began to wonder whether, at times, we can all be guilty of hearing but not listening.  


I know that the shop assistant could hear my answer; I spoke up and spoke clearly.  'Yes' and 'No' do not sound the same.  So, why did I find myself with a bag in my hand that I had not asked for?  My guess is, that instead of actually listening to my answer, the shop assistant merely assumed I would say 'yes' to a bag.  


I wonder how many times we do something similar?  How often we assume we know the answer to a question, without really taking the time and effort to listen carefully to what is actually being said? 

Perhaps the speed of our lifestyle has a lot to do with this.  We ask questions in passing, such as 'how are you?' and far too often never actually stop to listen to the answer.  We assume that the person is all right, and incorrectly interpret 'ok' to mean 'great' when really the person is hurting or finding things tough.   

Paul Tillich wrote 'The first duty of love, is to listen.'

As Christians we are called to love.  We must strive to love at all times, not just when it is convenient. If Tillich is right, and I personally believe there is a lot of truth in his statement, then we really do need to concentrate on developing the lost art of listening. 


Real listening involves both hearing and understanding.  

A fuller understanding comes through listening to the words, their meaning, and the context and tone in which they are spoken.  It can also be just as important to listen to what is NOT being said.   Yes, it takes time and it takes effort.  But doesn't love?

I want to show the love of Christ to people, and having considered the thoughts that followed the aforementioned card incident, I cannot help but feel challenged to work at developing my listening skills.  If genuine listening demonstrates love, I pray I am not the only one to be challenged.

Are you prepared to demonstrate love by slowing down and focusing enough to hear what people are really saying?
  

This week, when you politely ask someone the question 'How are you?' - don't assume you know the answer and rush on.  Stop.  Listen.  Respond.  Love.

The one with the handful

'Take a handful!'

Over the weekend one of our guests kindly offered my youngest son some of her Minstrels.  Being a chocolate lover, his eyes widened at the sight of the large bag of chocolates.   Before reaching into the bag, he looked at our guest as if to silently ask 'how many am I allowed to take?'  With astute perception she innocently answered 'take a handful'.  And that is what he did!  A rather huge handful!  Kids!  

 This incident triggered numerous giggling fits  as pictures of my son attempting to effectively hold and eat the chocolates flashed through our minds.  It really was comical.  

Throughout the weekend we discussed my son's literal interpretation of the direction to 'take a handful'.  To him this provided an opportunity to scoop up as many Minstrels into his hand as he could physically manage.  Why wouldn't he?  He loves chocolate!  It makes sense.  

However, to most adults (myself included) the same phrase brings about a different response.  'Take a handful' - becomes interpreted as 'take a few because you don't want to look greedy.'  The consequence of this interpretation results in the adult taking their hands out of the offered packet with only two or three chocolates.  How polite.  

So, whilst the children get to enjoy their acquired feast of chocolate, the adults are left with a tantalising taste of chocolate in their mouth.  Politeness aside - why do we do this?!  If we are offered a handful of chocolates, why do we not take it literally and grab as many as we like?  After all ... they were offered and we love chocolate!

As I have reflected on this today, I have realised that the inclination to settle for less does not stop with chocolates.  It may have an impact on an untold number of experiences in our lives.  Sadly, our ability to learn, to enjoy life,  or to love and be loved may be hindered as the 'take only a few' reaction kicks in. 

We may tell ourselves that we are not good enough.

We may believe that we do not deserve it.

We may assume that the offer is not really meant for us.

Rubbish.

These incorrect understandings are often deeply embedded in our lives and can result in mediocrity being accepted as norm.  However, as mentioned in a previous post - Jesus came to give us 'life to the full' (John 10:10).  This fullness of life includes being offered total forgiveness of sins, unconditional love and full acceptance into God's family.  Amazing!  

And yet,  our 'take only a few' response can sometimes result in us being unable to fully accept this.

Let's find out and understand what it is God is offering, and reach in and grab all we can.  Jesus died in order to make this possible for us.  God will not be offended or think we are greedy if we 'take a handful' - because when he offers it to us - he really means it.  He loves us and wants us to accept all he has for us - so we can live our life to the full with him :) 

Ready to grab a handful? :)