The one with the Mask

This week, just for a little while, I took off my mask (see previous post).  I displayed a little more of my true self than I am comfortable with.  It left me feeling as if I were walking around in an open field, undressed, with nowhere to hide or shade to seek refuge in.  I felt vulnerable and exposed.

Was I right to take off the mask?

(Insert good Christian answer here ... 'yes, of course, God wants us to be open and honest at all times')

Over the last few months, a lot has been said at church about taking off our masks.  It is obvious really isn't it?  As Christians we are to live our lives with integrity.  We are to be open and honest in all we say and do.   We should therefore make every effort to peel off our masks, and live and love as our real selves.   Anything short of this 'realness' would be deceptive and dishonest, and not congruent with our faith and relationship with Jesus.

If this is true, then we should immediately take off and discard our masks.  Right?

I think there are a couple of questions that need to be asked before we go rushing about in a self-awareness frenzy, identifying and throwing away our masks.

Firstly, and most importantly, we should ask ourselves - 'Who is it we are hiding our true self from?'

If we are trying to hide from God, then we have a problem.  You see, we will never be able to do this.  We need only to read Psalm 139 to know this.  God knows our innermost being.  He knows our thoughts.  He has examined our hearts and knows everything about us.  We try to hide in vain.  Our masks don't fool God.  Take them off, and come before God as you really are and accept the love he has for you - the real you.

How about if we are wearing our masks before other people?  Isn't this wrong too?

If our masks are concealing our true thoughts and feelings from other people, dare I suggest that it isn't always completely wrong to do so?

Does that shock you?  I have thought quite a lot about this lately, and whilst I agree that we should live our lives with complete honesty as much as possible, I can't help but acknowledge that some masks are valuable.

There are some masks that are worn for self-protection.  It would be crazy to suggest a fencer participate in a fight without wearing a mask.  The mask is there to protect and enable a fair and safe fight.  Without it a quick thrust of the opponent's epee could cause great harm and end the fight prematurely.

There are times when we need to wear a protective mask to keep us safe whilst in battle.  Perhaps a mask is needed to conceal our weakness and vulnerability from the enemy. Or maybe the mask is needed just long enough for us to prepare and build up our strength before we attack.


There are also masks that are worn for the protection of others.  Surgeons wear masks whilst operating for a number of reasons, one of which is to protect the patient from infectious droplets carrying bacteria or viruses that become airborne through a cough or sneeze.  Similarly, there are times when we may need to wear a mask to protect those around us.  Sometimes a mask of strength may be worn to risk hurting others.

That said, these protective masks are worn for a period of time for a specific purpose.  The fencer does not continue to wear the mask once the fight has finished.  The surgeon does not leave the theatre and go home to sleep still wearing the mask.  They are taken off when they are no longer necessary.

We too should take off our masks when they are no longer needed.  The danger is that we get comfortable and continue to wear them.  They begin to form our identity.  Masks that are worn out of season stop protecting and start to form barriers.  They hinder the real you from fully participating in all that God has in store for you and they keep others at a restrictive distance.

I took my mask off this week, it wasn't easy, but I knew it was time.  It had been worn when it was needed, but it was beginning to restrict my own journey, and that I hope to walk with others. 

What about you?

What masks are you currently wearing?

Who are you wearing them in front of?

Are you hiding your true self unnecessarily?

Is it time to begin to take them off?



I am thankful that God knows and loves the real me - of course he does - he created me!  I am also thankful that he will help us to take our masks off at the right time.  He wont force it, but will gently encourage and support us as we do.  Phew!

Out of Sorts

Image courtesy of Heart and Soul

Today, I post out of sorts; it doesn't follow suit.  Its irregularity protrudes when laid aside the norm.

Its difference scares, but is comforted by the recollection of where it began ... nearly a year ago. 

In November last year, after a very difficult month, I began to blog.  The full reason for the venture into blogging can be read in The one at the Beginning, but the significance of today's post - I have copied and pasted below...

'Thirdly ... writing somehow allows me to express myself in a way that makes sense - to me at least!  As someone who finds expression difficult in spoken word - I seem to be able to put my true thoughts and feelings down through pen and paper (keyboard and screen!).  Which - I guess - is ultimately the whole point of attempting this blog.  I hope writing this will allow me to explore and express!  That is for me.'  

So, today, I need to 'explore and express'.  Life is tough.  It has been battle after battle.  I feel like I am losing, and yet, I can't let go.  Sometimes I want to, it would be easier that way.  But it isn't right - I must find the strength and determination and keep going.  I know God has called me to hack away at the overgrown grassland and clear a path for myself (and others) to walk, but the grass cuts the skin, and the work is difficult.  Can I take a rest?  Just a little breather?  Will the grass grow back that quickly if I do?

In all this confusion I am thankful that GOD IS.

That GOD IS my Strength.   

That GOD IS my Guide.

That GOD IS my Comfort.

That GOD IS my Peace.

That GOD IS my Refuge.

And that GOD IS Sovereign and Lord over ALL!


Remembering that GOD IS will keep me going.  Knowing that GOD IS encourages joy amidst the trials.

It is tough, yes, but it never promised to be easy.  BUT ...

GOD IS who I am living for and deep down I am thankful for the privilege and opportunity to do so.

I'm tired but I will push on, run the race, and leave a trail.

The one with the Duck Song

WARNING: Interacting with this post will get into your head and stay there - for a very long time!
Waddle Waddle!!

Last year one of my boys introduced me to Bryant Oden's genius Duck Song.  I say genius because for a short and simple song (with video) first uploaded in 2009 - it has already had a whopping 59,924,170 hits!!  That is some achievement.

What is the appeal?  Well, watch the link below and you will see for yourself .....

 
Cute and catchy eh?  Now, I challenge you to watch it again without singing along - it just can't be done!!

So - that is it, there is no going back!  The Duck Song is well and truly inside your head - and for that I do apologise a little.  However, my hope is, that in sharing this song with you, it will find its way not only into your head, but also you thoughts, your mind and your heart.  You see, I believe this simple (if not annoying!) song has a lot to teach us.  Really?  I invite you to read on ...

The story begins with the duck walking up to a lemonade stand and asking ... got any grapes?

However, to his dismay, he soon discovers there are no grapes on offer .... and he waddles away ... till the very next day ...

Our duck friend doesn't seem to learn from this, as the following day, he walks back up to lemonade stand, and again asks ... got any grapes?

Once again, the duck is to learn that the lemonade stand has no grapes to offer, and he waddles away ... till the very next day ...

Despite being very bright in colour, it would seem that Mr Duck lacks a certain amount of intelligence, and visits the same lemonade stand a total of five times, each time asking for grapes.  Why would he do this?

My guess is that such was his desire for grapes that he would do whatever was needed in order to get some.  He had his heart and mind fixed on grapes and nothing else seemed to matter, including continued knock-backs. 

Silly duck.  We wouldn't have been so daft right?

The one with the handprints

Yesterday at Twinkling Stars Toddler Group we made handprints.  I say 'we' deliberately, as I also decided to put my hands in the paint!  'Such fun!'

My Handprints - to remind me how quickly I am growing up!! :)  

The handprints joined a poem about growing up and were named and dated before going through the laminator.  The children enjoyed getting their hands messy, and the parents were pleased to have a record to keep of their little one's hands.  A perfect mornings work!






So, why did I choose to join in the fun?  Because I am all too aware at the moment of how quickly time goes by and how much we can lose if we do not make the most of the opportunities we are presented with.  Carpe Diem and all that!

The circumstances that led to this reflection?     A pair of shoes!

Most of you will know that when I say 'shoes' - I am not referring to the 'shiny heeled lady variety', but pumps.  Yes, I will admit to having a slight obsession with Converse.  For the last 3 months I have been searching for a pair of green Converse to add to my collection.   With all the different Converse colours around this may sound a simple mission.  It was not!  Having searched far and wide it appears this particular shade of green (it had to be just right!) is not being made by Converse in this country at the moment.  Even the online Converse shop let me down!  Sadly, I had to abort the mission.

That is, until I spotted a pair of green Converse style pumps in Superdry a few weeks ago.  They were the perfect colour!  Despite the obvious fact they weren't real Converse, I decided to give them a chance.  They fit well, were on par with Converse price, and looked great.  Fantastic.

I am now a proud owner of green pumps - the perfect colour to wear with several of my favourite tops.  End of story?  Not quite ...

The one with the proud mum

Usually my ten year old son greets me in the playground after school with a smile - but last Thursday was a different story all together.  Looking down at his feet, he slowly made his way over to where I stood.  After offering only a very quiet 'hi', he waited beside me for my nieces to come out of their classrooms.  I suspected the worst.  There I stood, pretending to search intently for the girls, when really I mentally prepared my 'it's ok, you tried your best, that is all that counts' speech.  You see, today had been a big day for him.  Having been elected onto the school council the week before, this was the day he would stand in front of the whole school and give a speech explaining why he should be elected as Chair.  His face and manner suggested the day hadn't gone all that well.

We stood in the playground for what seemed like eternity, when I took the plunge and asked how his day had gone.  'How has your day been?'  I casually asked, trying not to visibly cringe as I waited for his disheartened response. Still looking down, he answered, 'Not so good' - and just as I was about to launch into my speech, he added - 'I only got voted in as Chair!'  The toad!!

Looking pleased with himself after the elections :)

Pride began to rise up within me, quickly doing away with all the feelings of dread that had occupied my mind only seconds ago.  My boy had done it.

As I walked back to the car listening to his account of the day, it dawned on me that I would have been just as proud of him had his response to my question been different.  You see, his attitude towards the elections had, in my opinion, been exemplary.  This is why ...

The one with the game of tag

3:15pm on a Thursday afternoon can only mean one thing - school pick up. Yesterday, an incident happened on the way out of school that caused my thoughts to change from what I could cook for tea that evening - to something entirely different ...

As I walked back through the playground chatting casually with a few of the 'playground mums', children ran playfully, totally absorbed in a game of tag.  Shouts of 'you're it' and squeals of laughter filled the air as five or six children darted around, their royal blue jumpers colouring the small playground.  I half-heartedly listened to the 'grown-up' conversations, as I marveled at how the children see the short journey through the playground as an opportunity to run, play and have fun, and at the ease in which they seem to be able to join in with others without standing awkwardly around waiting for an invitation.

How I wish I felt comfortable enough to do these things now.   When did I stop running, skipping and squealing with laughter and begin to walk sensibly and quietly?  When did I cease looking for opportunities to have fun and start to look for ways to prove my maturity?  Why does growing up so often mean the same as growing boring?

I know that in 1 Corinthians 13:11 we are exhorted to put childish ways behind us, but does this really mean we need to stop having fun?  Surely this passage refers to maturing in our Christian walk, and not to life in general? 

Maybe, just maybe, it would do us all good to be 'childish' every now and again.  This does not mean we need to cast aside all our adult responsibilities, but to let the child in us run about aimlessly for a while in the sun, or sing a song whilst walking down the aisle, or giggle uncontrollably with friends over nothing.  I miss these times :(

And what about the ease in which young children join in with each other, and how strangers quickly become friends?  Another angle for reflection:  Do I behave like a child in this sense and invite new people into a group and encourage involvement as though I have known them for ages?  Or do I tend to keep them at a distance, discouraging full participation?  Am I prepared to remove the barriers in order to allow others to join in?  In theory, yes ... in practice ... I will try.

Back to the game of tag in the playground ...

Chasing, laughing, shouting, twisting and turning - and then - the fall.  My niece, in her attempt to outrun the tagger, tripped up and fell on her knees in the middle of the playground.  My heart went out to her, as not only did it look painful, but everyone had seen.  How embarrassing.

What did she do next?

She brushed off her knees, got back on her feet and continued with the game.
Wow.  Good for her.   She hadn't wallowed in self-pity or embarrassment.  She hadn't let the fall stop her from having fun.  She got up and carried on.

I reflected on this bravery, and realised how often as adults we allow little knocks or falls to have such a negative impact on our journey. We fall down and feel hurt or embarrassed, and instead of brushing our knees off, and getting back up, we stay down or limp away in shame - never to give it a go again.

Is this really the best way to live our lives?  It may feel like the easy option at the time, but how much will we begin to miss out on if this is our response? What opportunities for growth will pass us by if we simply give up when we take a fall?

Can I encourage you not to allow life's knock backs to stop you. Brush off your knees, learn from the fall,  apply a plaster if necessary and continue on with your journey.

Learn from the wisdom of Chumbawamba (Tubthumping 1997) .. 

I get knocked down
But I get up again
You're never going to keep me down
I get knocked down
But I get up again
You're never going to keep me down   :)

The one at the beginning

It was a perfect setting: a quiet corner in an old traditional pub with a log fire, drinking tea and chatting with a good friend. As always, the conversation was amusing, interesting, challenging and much appreciated.  The topic?  Life!  Yup - we discussed everything from pea soup (yuk!) to prayer times, from cold tea to cloudy thoughts and from past experience to future hopes.  We covered a lot!

During several cups of tea we both shared a little of who we really are - and with that - who we hope to become.  You see, the more I go through life, the more I realise what a journey it really is.  Contemplating the past is good, because it reveals how we got to where we are today.  However, it should never stop there.  For dwelling too much on our past does not benefit us.  We need to choose to learn from it today and allow it to positively influence our future.

Where did these thoughts come from?  Let me explain ...

I decided a few days ago that it was time to give my bedroom a good sort out - and ventured into the back of my cupboards.  As I pulled out all sorts of hidden and forgotten things I came across a box containing my writings from the past: journal entries, prayers, letters etc.  Forgetting the mess of my room, I tentatively began to read.  I say tentatively - because I really wasn't sure what I would find!  However, what I did find encouraged and excited me.  I learned several things during this little trip through my past:

Firstly - God really has placed people in my life at the right time to support, encourage, challenge and develop me.  I can see this now and am thankful for the people who have positively impacted my life. God knows who our paths need to cross with at each junction.  Do I always allow people to speak into my life, or do I slow down, or change direction in order to avoid people crossing my path at certain times?  Do I allow God to use me to cross other people on their journey - and support, encourage and develop them?  I hope so. 

Secondly - I have moved on in my journey with God.  All too often I feel as though I have become stagnant and stopped moving on in my relationship with God and in my ministry.  However, looking back at past prayers and journal writings I can see that this isn't the case at all.  God has moved me on.  I have enlarged my tent, and stretched my comfort zone.  Sometimes we need to reflect on our past in order to see how God has moved in our lives.  However, we have to remember it is a journey - and our journey has not come to an end just yet!  Realising and understanding our growth in God should inspire and encourage us to continue growing!  He has greater things in store for us yet :)

Thirdly - (and finally - as I have now been waffling on for far too long) - writing somehow allows me to express myself in a way that makes sense - to me at least!  As someone who finds expression difficult in word - I seem to be able to put my true thoughts and feelings down through pen and paper (keyboard and screen!).  Which - I guess - is ultimately the whole point of attempting this blog.  I hope writing this will allow me to explore and express!  That is for me.  For you?  I hope that through my ramblings you will somehow be encouraged and empowered - to explore your life - and all that God has planned for it :)

Life!  Best shared  - with laughter - and lattes - (Starbucks anyone?!)