Masks (an extra little bit!)

After this week's posting about masks I was reminded of a Youtube clip shown at church a while ago.  It talks about the masks we put on and ... well ... why don't I just let you see for yourself?

The question left on my mind after watching this again, is not so much about what masks I put on, but whether my actions and attitudes encourage other people to discard their masks?

Do I cultivate a safe environment for them to do so?  

Do I give people time to say how they really are?  

Do I listen attentively and respond accordingly? 

Am I modelling a mask free life wherever possible?

Am I quick to judge?  

Do I try to understand?     

Do I care enough to enter into the hidden lives of people knowing it may be messy, difficult, painful?

Am I willing to let go of my own thoughts and agendas and ask Jesus what he would want me to do?

Am I prepared to show the love of Christ in all circumstances?


Successful and long-lasting discarding of masks involves more than the mask wearer - it requires the time, love, support, encouragement, effort etc of those around them.  Let's not expect action from others without being willing to give ourselves.

The one with the Mask

This week, just for a little while, I took off my mask (see previous post).  I displayed a little more of my true self than I am comfortable with.  It left me feeling as if I were walking around in an open field, undressed, with nowhere to hide or shade to seek refuge in.  I felt vulnerable and exposed.

Was I right to take off the mask?

(Insert good Christian answer here ... 'yes, of course, God wants us to be open and honest at all times')

Over the last few months, a lot has been said at church about taking off our masks.  It is obvious really isn't it?  As Christians we are to live our lives with integrity.  We are to be open and honest in all we say and do.   We should therefore make every effort to peel off our masks, and live and love as our real selves.   Anything short of this 'realness' would be deceptive and dishonest, and not congruent with our faith and relationship with Jesus.

If this is true, then we should immediately take off and discard our masks.  Right?

I think there are a couple of questions that need to be asked before we go rushing about in a self-awareness frenzy, identifying and throwing away our masks.

Firstly, and most importantly, we should ask ourselves - 'Who is it we are hiding our true self from?'

If we are trying to hide from God, then we have a problem.  You see, we will never be able to do this.  We need only to read Psalm 139 to know this.  God knows our innermost being.  He knows our thoughts.  He has examined our hearts and knows everything about us.  We try to hide in vain.  Our masks don't fool God.  Take them off, and come before God as you really are and accept the love he has for you - the real you.

How about if we are wearing our masks before other people?  Isn't this wrong too?

If our masks are concealing our true thoughts and feelings from other people, dare I suggest that it isn't always completely wrong to do so?

Does that shock you?  I have thought quite a lot about this lately, and whilst I agree that we should live our lives with complete honesty as much as possible, I can't help but acknowledge that some masks are valuable.

There are some masks that are worn for self-protection.  It would be crazy to suggest a fencer participate in a fight without wearing a mask.  The mask is there to protect and enable a fair and safe fight.  Without it a quick thrust of the opponent's epee could cause great harm and end the fight prematurely.

There are times when we need to wear a protective mask to keep us safe whilst in battle.  Perhaps a mask is needed to conceal our weakness and vulnerability from the enemy. Or maybe the mask is needed just long enough for us to prepare and build up our strength before we attack.


There are also masks that are worn for the protection of others.  Surgeons wear masks whilst operating for a number of reasons, one of which is to protect the patient from infectious droplets carrying bacteria or viruses that become airborne through a cough or sneeze.  Similarly, there are times when we may need to wear a mask to protect those around us.  Sometimes a mask of strength may be worn to risk hurting others.

That said, these protective masks are worn for a period of time for a specific purpose.  The fencer does not continue to wear the mask once the fight has finished.  The surgeon does not leave the theatre and go home to sleep still wearing the mask.  They are taken off when they are no longer necessary.

We too should take off our masks when they are no longer needed.  The danger is that we get comfortable and continue to wear them.  They begin to form our identity.  Masks that are worn out of season stop protecting and start to form barriers.  They hinder the real you from fully participating in all that God has in store for you and they keep others at a restrictive distance.

I took my mask off this week, it wasn't easy, but I knew it was time.  It had been worn when it was needed, but it was beginning to restrict my own journey, and that I hope to walk with others. 

What about you?

What masks are you currently wearing?

Who are you wearing them in front of?

Are you hiding your true self unnecessarily?

Is it time to begin to take them off?



I am thankful that God knows and loves the real me - of course he does - he created me!  I am also thankful that he will help us to take our masks off at the right time.  He wont force it, but will gently encourage and support us as we do.  Phew!

The one with the toilet queue

Last week I met up with two very good friends whom I hadn't seen in a while.  The sun joined us as we walked around Christchurch to find a good coffee shop to sit and catch up properly in.  Christchurch is lovely, but it doesn't have a Starbucks!  So, after much deliberation, we decided to enter Neros, as at least they serve Chai Tea Latte.  The three of us chatted merrily, filling each other in on several month's worth of life.  Much needed and thoroughly enjoyed - thank you ladies!

Following much sipping and chatting I could no longer ignore nature's call to pay the 'ladies room' a visit.  So I made my way upstairs to the balcony and joined the queue for the toilet, and there I waited for a very long time!!  A long queue?  Surprisingly, no!  When I got there an older couple were discussing the toilets,  and as I sat down on a leather chair to wait, I overheard the lady telling her husband that the lady's room was obviously out of order, as it had been locked for a very long time.  I continued to sit patiently, albeit slightly frustrated, as I was missing out on important conversational time.  After a while, one of the toilets became free and the queue decreased by one.  Again, I waited, and just as the toilet door opened, another lady joined the queue (actually - she pushed in front of me!)
Not wanting to miss my slot - I jumped up and casually told her that only one toilet was available as the other one was locked and obviously out of order.  To my surprise, the lady responded with a firm 'well, we shall see about that' and walked over to the toilet door.  Well, guess what?  It wasn't locked at all!  It was just a little difficult to open!  I had been waiting ages for nothing - all because I overheard something in someone's conversation!

Yes, I felt silly.  I felt a little embarrassed.  I also felt cheated!  I could have been downstairs with my friends instead of waiting on the balcony.  And yet, I really had no one else to blame but myself.  I had overheard that the toilet must be out of order, and hadn't thought to check for myself.  Would you have done the same?

When I finally rejoined my friends, I told them of my mistake, and as I did, I began to wonder whether I fall prey to the same mistake in other areas of life.  How often have I simply taken someone else's word for something and not thought to check or work it out for myself?  Sadly, the answer is far too often!

Maybe I am not the only one?  As a child, negative words from teachers, or responsible adults, may have stopped you believing you can do something.  When a Careers Adviser told me that I wouldn't get into teaching, I believed her.  I had no reason not to, she was the expert after all.  Disheartened, I chose a different college course and considered an alternative career path. As it happened, my college tutor saw something different in me and encouraged me to apply for a teaching degree.  Had I not been encouraged to rethink my abilities, I would never have thought it possible that I would be accepted to study teaching.  The words of the Careers Adviser several years earlier had stuck in my mind and I absolutely believed them.

You can't achieve those grades

You can't win that race

You wont succeed in that career

You will never get married
You can't do that because you are too young
You can't do that because you are a women (yes, I went there!)

God will never use you

You are not good enough to be a Christian

Perhaps you have had something similar spoken to you, that you just accepted?  If it is something you really want, can I encourage you to check it out for yourself.  You do not need to believe everything that has ever been said about you.  Sometimes other people do not get it right and do not know best.


Let's look at it another way.  What if you had been told that chocolate tasted horrible when you were younger, and took their word for it, and therefore never tried any.  Can you imagine what you would be missing out on?!!  We all know that wouldn't really happen though!  It would be crazy to accept someone else's opinion on the taste of chocolate, right?  We are smart enough to try it for ourselves and reserve judgement until then?


And yet, many accept other peoples opinions on something far more important and life changing than chocolate.  I did when I was younger.  I was told God wasn't real and I believed it.  That is, until something happened that nudged me to work it out for myself.  And when I did, I realised how foolish I had been to accept someone else's opinion on the reality of God. I am not saying that everything became clear straight away, but I started on a journey to discover God for myself.  Maybe one day I will share that journey here.

In the Psalms we are told to 'Taste and see that the Lord is good' (34:8).  Just as with the taste of chocolate, we can never gain a realistic and true understanding of God unless we find out for ourselves.  It is something far too important to merely accept the words of other people.  We have to 'taste' and 'see' for ourselves.  In all honesty, I was a little afraid when I began to 'taste' God for myself - but now, over twenty years later I know it was the bravest, and the most awesome life-changing thing I have ever done.  I really did 'taste and see that the LORD IS GOOD'.

If you are still living under the shadow of other peoples' words and opinions, whether it's regarding your abilities, character, options, or, more importantly, regarding the reality and goodness of God - please can I encourage you to begin to work it out for yourself. Your life is too important not to.

Don't wait pointlessly in the queue like I did at Neros -  Get up, walk to the door and check it out for yourself!  You could be missing out on something amazing if you don't.

The one with 'Guess Who?'

What do Bill, Robert, Anne, David, Susan, Anita and Eric all have in common? 

They are all characters in the original game of Guess Who? (by Hasbro)

I haven't played this game in a long time, but I still remember it well.  In the original game (sadly it has changed quite a bit) you and your gaming partner each have a board in front of you, with a number of characters tiles flipped up.  You both pick a random card, and this becomes the character your opponent will try to guess, to win the game.  Guesses are narrowed down by asking 'yes' or 'no' questions such as:

Are they wearing a hat?
Do they have black hair?
Are they smiling?

Is this bringing back memories?

Over the last few days I have been reflecting on this game quite a bit.  Why?  Let me share with you ...

On Sunday I heard a sermon on Psalm 119:105: 'Your Word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.'

Thanks to an old Amy Grant song I know this verse well, and could even sing it to you!


Can you see the connection between this verse and Guess Who?  No, I am not surprised, I do have a tendency to find obscure connections in things!  Allow me to carry on ...

The preacher drew attention to the two different forms of illumination in the verse: the lamp and the light.  Two different lights, each with its own purpose.  The lamp lights up the area directly around the Psalmist (the author), whilst the beam of the light shines ahead and lights up the path to be traveled.  

Applying this to our lives,  the preacher suggested that unless we have a full understanding of ourselves, we cannot hope to see what is ahead for us.  In other words, we need to see ourselves in the correct light (the lamp) before we can effectively see our future (the light to our path).

As I have recently felt that the path ahead is surrounded by fog, I found this particularly interesting and pertinent to my current situation.  Is it possible that I cannot see my path clearly because I have an incorrect, or distorted view of who I really am?

Can you see where the Guess Who? game comes in now?

In a quiet moment of reflection following the sermon, I began to see that the view I have of myself is largely influenced by past experiences.  Words spoken to me in the past, and the reactions of other people, still impact my understanding of who I am.  My guess is that I am not alone here.  Past hurts, perceptions and experiences can become deeply embedded in our character, and can prove very difficult to let go of.

It is as if we are many different 'faces' on a Guess Who?  board.  Although they are all the same person, they represent different characteristics and understandings we have of ourselves.

'I am not very clever'
'I am not attractive'
'I cannot achieve ...'
'I am a loser'
'I am not a likeable person'


You get the point.

BUT - we do not need to let these incorrect understandings control our lives.  Our past may impact our present, but it does not determine our future.

We do not need to keep believing we are worthless.  We should not accept the cruel words that have been spoken over us.  We must not listen to the lies of the world.  
 
We need to have a good and honest look at our board, and ask ourselves, 'is this really true?'  We need to ask God to help us see ourselves as he sees us and listen to the Truth of his Word.  We need to listen to the One who knows us better than we know ourselves.  

It is time to reevaluate, to switch on the lamp, and see ourselves as we really are:

'We are loved'
'We are fearfully and wonderfully made'
'We are known by the true and living God'
'We are not a waste of space'
'We can make a difference'

So, let's get out our personal Guess Who? boards and start flipping down the tiles with incorrect 'faces' on, and be left with an accurate understanding of who we really are.


Ready for a game?  I am.